There is a 45 oz. tub of fake butter in my fridge. You know the stuff. The best known brand is Shedd's Spread Country Crock, but I've got the cheap stuff in my fridge. Hy-Top brand Premium Quality Spread, it's called. Yup, it's not butter and they damn well know it. At least I did have a tub of the cheap stuff in my fridge. Right now there's just scrapings left in the bottom of the pail and soon enough that will be gone.
Have you any idea how depressing it is to open up that bucket up what is essentially fat and oil, seeing that the bucket is empty and knowing that you've eaten the whole thing? It doesn't matter if it took you three months or three years to do it, you still stare at that bucket and think about how disgusting that very fact is. I feel slightly better about it this time because my brother helped me put away a lot of it, probably more than I ate, but the fact remains that the bucket is nearly empty and a good bit of it is inside me. The last time this happened though I did eat the whole thing. My roommate at the time didn't eat that stuff, so it was all me. It's a rather revolting thought.
In other news of the moronic today I cut the middle finger of my right hand at work today...
..while holding the knife in my right hand.
nice read! i liked it!
ReplyDeleteCuts just appeared on my hand today as if from stigmata =/ AT least you know where yours came from =[
ReplyDeleteThat's so gross, and I totally know the feeling. I made some buttercream frosting (butter and powdered sugar), and I still haven't made a cake... Half the frosting is gone. Which means... So much butter and sugar is inside me. D:
ReplyDeleteAlso, how the hell did you manage that cut? o.o
nice read! interesting stuff
ReplyDeleteIt's a sort of weird knife used for opening rolls of newsprint. The bottom of the blade sort of curves as opposed to ending flat so it doesn't get caught in the wrapping around the paper no matter how far in it is. I must have run my finger up to the curve while holding it against what I was cutting. That's the only way I can think of to have possibly cut my finger like that.
ReplyDeleteFitness time!
ReplyDeleteomg time to run that off!
ReplyDeletelol ive been there too man
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of fake butter, but I guess it's worse than regular butter. :)
ReplyDeleteHilarious post :D
ReplyDeletewow, nice job at cutting your finger with the very same hand! :D
ReplyDeleteGood thing I prefer the real type of butter! lol Don't pour lemon juice on your finger.
ReplyDeleteeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteI do that sometimes with things. I feel like a gluttonous piece of shit afterwards. Which is why starting Monday I'm getting my ass back in shape, back to the days where I used to fight, train, eat, sleep, fight, train....
ReplyDeleteNo more softness from me!
yeah you feel like a fatty fatty foo fah when that tub is empty..every time
ReplyDeletewow, time to workout
ReplyDeletethat's a lot of butter bro... you need to start GTLing
ReplyDeleteThat's why I eat real butter. i don't feel bad after eating all of that but that may just be me.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the knife thing though, I do stupid stuff like that all the time.
Dude, how d'u cut the hand your holding the knife in?
ReplyDeleteWell... At least it's not butter? Don't feel bad about it, dude. Also, how'd you cut yourself?
ReplyDeleteUgh, even worse is using the butter spray, and repeatedly putting it on your sandwich, because it's freaking tasteless. :/
ReplyDeletethat's interesting!
ReplyDeletenice!
ReplyDeletedid you drink it??
ReplyDeleteHaha eyah. Thats why I dont ever use butter. Most everuything is fine without the addition of the fats and oils.
ReplyDelete