There is a 45 oz. tub of fake butter in my fridge. You know the stuff. The best known brand is Shedd's Spread Country Crock, but I've got the cheap stuff in my fridge. Hy-Top brand Premium Quality Spread, it's called. Yup, it's not butter and they damn well know it. At least I did have a tub of the cheap stuff in my fridge. Right now there's just scrapings left in the bottom of the pail and soon enough that will be gone.
Have you any idea how depressing it is to open up that bucket up what is essentially fat and oil, seeing that the bucket is empty and knowing that you've eaten the whole thing? It doesn't matter if it took you three months or three years to do it, you still stare at that bucket and think about how disgusting that very fact is. I feel slightly better about it this time because my brother helped me put away a lot of it, probably more than I ate, but the fact remains that the bucket is nearly empty and a good bit of it is inside me. The last time this happened though I did eat the whole thing. My roommate at the time didn't eat that stuff, so it was all me. It's a rather revolting thought.
In other news of the moronic today I cut the middle finger of my right hand at work today...
..while holding the knife in my right hand.