Ok, so I'm pretty pissed about the New York Jest winning (at least the Gnats went down in flames), but I wanted to share this thought with you anyway. I hope that some day soon the Jest are playing in a downpour and Mark Sanchez gets sacked about four times and his uniform gets downright filthy. And if this happens and one of the commentators doesn't take the chance to say something like "Wow, it sure is muddy down there, just look how dirty Sanchez is." then I lose all faith in humanity.
(BTW, sorry about not updating lately, I wanted to post this yesterday, but my interbutts were down.)
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Stupid and/or annoying people
Ok, so I've already made up a list of people I can do without. This one here is something similar. It's a collection of people who are stupid or annoying. Not necessarily people the world should do away with, but still wastes of skin nonetheless.
First up on the chopping block are people who think the moon landing was faked. Why do they find it so hard to believe that we've been to the moon yet they don't think twice about using their GPS enabled phone to help them find the nearest gas station using handy satellite photos or watch a show beamed down to them from space? Is it because this shit took place in the 60s? I bet that's it. They think no one in the 60s could do anything but get stoned and sing about things that turn turn turn (that being everything, I guess). Well, if we've got the technology now why don't you think we've done it? Yeah, it's because we already did. Ohh and we're about to do it again in the next decade or so. Will they still argue when they're watching live feeds from the moon on the news? Then again something tells me these people won't be watching the news at all.
And I'd like to point out one of the most alarming and ironic facts about these people is that the majority of them seem to be Americans. We're the ones who actually did it and yet we're the last to believe it? Whatever.
Next up: people who think Mount Rushmore is a natural occurrence. Where do I even start with this one? First off there are actual documentaries about this shown regularly on TV. I've seen one on the History channel at least once or twice. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe they don't watch anything that could be remotely educational. Even if that's the case lets talk about statistics here. If by some miracle four faces of naturally sprout from a mountain what are the chances that all four of them be popular American presidents? Why the hell not slip in Millard Filmore Or James Buchanan? Or going outside of American politics why not slip in Hitler or a freakin' pope or two? How about just some ordinary guy like Jim in accounting?
And speaking of Jim in accounting, what a douchebag he is! Actually I don't even know anyone named Jim in accounting, but I think that tacking "in accounting" onto the end of anyone's name will make them a pain in the ass or at the very least less liked.
Lastly we have sports news casters and writers who suck Brett Favre's dick. You guys are idiots. There are literally hundreds of other players in the NFL, many of them much more deserving of your attention. Why do you insist on shoving Favre down our throats as far as you have his schlong shoved down yours? No one gives a fuck about his personal life (although I admit it's nice to see that Jets babe's titties in the news every now and then) and the only time we'll care about his streak is when it finally ends. Quit taking about him till he breaks several bones and we KNOW he won't start the next game. Hopefully that'll happen this weekend. Go Pats!
First up on the chopping block are people who think the moon landing was faked. Why do they find it so hard to believe that we've been to the moon yet they don't think twice about using their GPS enabled phone to help them find the nearest gas station using handy satellite photos or watch a show beamed down to them from space? Is it because this shit took place in the 60s? I bet that's it. They think no one in the 60s could do anything but get stoned and sing about things that turn turn turn (that being everything, I guess). Well, if we've got the technology now why don't you think we've done it? Yeah, it's because we already did. Ohh and we're about to do it again in the next decade or so. Will they still argue when they're watching live feeds from the moon on the news? Then again something tells me these people won't be watching the news at all.
And I'd like to point out one of the most alarming and ironic facts about these people is that the majority of them seem to be Americans. We're the ones who actually did it and yet we're the last to believe it? Whatever.
Next up: people who think Mount Rushmore is a natural occurrence. Where do I even start with this one? First off there are actual documentaries about this shown regularly on TV. I've seen one on the History channel at least once or twice. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe they don't watch anything that could be remotely educational. Even if that's the case lets talk about statistics here. If by some miracle four faces of naturally sprout from a mountain what are the chances that all four of them be popular American presidents? Why the hell not slip in Millard Filmore Or James Buchanan? Or going outside of American politics why not slip in Hitler or a freakin' pope or two? How about just some ordinary guy like Jim in accounting?
And speaking of Jim in accounting, what a douchebag he is! Actually I don't even know anyone named Jim in accounting, but I think that tacking "in accounting" onto the end of anyone's name will make them a pain in the ass or at the very least less liked.
Lastly we have sports news casters and writers who suck Brett Favre's dick. You guys are idiots. There are literally hundreds of other players in the NFL, many of them much more deserving of your attention. Why do you insist on shoving Favre down our throats as far as you have his schlong shoved down yours? No one gives a fuck about his personal life (although I admit it's nice to see that Jets babe's titties in the news every now and then) and the only time we'll care about his streak is when it finally ends. Quit taking about him till he breaks several bones and we KNOW he won't start the next game. Hopefully that'll happen this weekend. Go Pats!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Terran gonna Terr
So, I'm back to The Hammer Falls now. Sure, I should have beaten the Terran missions and probably be half or more of the way through the Zerg by now, but I've been slacking on it. I don't want to rip through the game too fast, so I'm going to make it last. Also, I tend not to play more than one or two missions in a day. I just finished up New Gettysburg the one where (ZOMG spoiler on a 12 year old game, still not gonna say it) happens.
As always I did that thing I love doing on this mission. I built up about 70 siege tanks, a shitload of bunkers full of Marines and a bunch of turrets and successfully repelled the Zerg onslaught at the end. I impressed myself this time, though. I didn't lose one single soldier in the Zerg's attack. I lost a couple of turrets and a bunker got blown up, but no one actually died. That was a new best for me. I always get such a chuckle out of seeing the mass of siege tanks that are set up. It was even funnier the way that every now and then while I was amassing my army they'd send out an ultralisk and the thing was dead before I'd even see it. That's what 40-50 siege tanks trained on the same spot will do I guess.
I'm really looking forward to playing this next mission though. I get to set my base up with turrets out towards the north east with siege tanks just behind them and wait for the enemy to attempt to drop nukes on that spot while I sit back with the scanner hotkeyed to number 5 so I can reveal the ghost and my tanks can kill him, wasting yet another pile of penis gas and minerals. The other side though tends to give me trouble and I hate them for it. Therefore that's always the way I send my attack first. I have yet to decide if I'll go with battle cruisers or siege tanks for my main rush. I may do what I think is the most fun and just drop as many nukes on them as possible. I laugh my ass off whenever I just nuke a base into oblivion and it is just plain silly to use only nukes on offense.
As for now though, I'm going to grab some junk food from the local store and catch up on the UFL game I have in another tab (and then the one I have DVR'd so I can make room for tomorrow's MNF game).
As always I did that thing I love doing on this mission. I built up about 70 siege tanks, a shitload of bunkers full of Marines and a bunch of turrets and successfully repelled the Zerg onslaught at the end. I impressed myself this time, though. I didn't lose one single soldier in the Zerg's attack. I lost a couple of turrets and a bunker got blown up, but no one actually died. That was a new best for me. I always get such a chuckle out of seeing the mass of siege tanks that are set up. It was even funnier the way that every now and then while I was amassing my army they'd send out an ultralisk and the thing was dead before I'd even see it. That's what 40-50 siege tanks trained on the same spot will do I guess.
I'm really looking forward to playing this next mission though. I get to set my base up with turrets out towards the north east with siege tanks just behind them and wait for the enemy to attempt to drop nukes on that spot while I sit back with the scanner hotkeyed to number 5 so I can reveal the ghost and my tanks can kill him, wasting yet another pile of penis gas and minerals. The other side though tends to give me trouble and I hate them for it. Therefore that's always the way I send my attack first. I have yet to decide if I'll go with battle cruisers or siege tanks for my main rush. I may do what I think is the most fun and just drop as many nukes on them as possible. I laugh my ass off whenever I just nuke a base into oblivion and it is just plain silly to use only nukes on offense.
As for now though, I'm going to grab some junk food from the local store and catch up on the UFL game I have in another tab (and then the one I have DVR'd so I can make room for tomorrow's MNF game).
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
PSA
We interrupt today's blog post to bring you this public service announcement.
Do you or someone you know like soccer?
You may be asking yourself "what can I do to stop this?"or "why did this happen to me?". Well, ask no longer. We are here to help.
Your first line of defense should be to suggest a better activity. If the person is dead set on the level of excitement that soccer provides you can suggest other things to do that are just as exciting. Perhaps check the comedy channel. If you're lucky Rita Rudner will be doing stand up. If someone who is actually interesting is on worry not. Check your local neighborhood area. If you're lucky there may be some paint drying that they could watch.
If said person is determined to watch sports you should attempt to make them watch something better, such as football. If they aren't happy with the level of strategy and thought that goes into a game of football you should suggest to them that they watch basketball instead. Sure, NBA isn't much better, but at least people score points in basketball.
They may complain to you that the court is too small. If this happens tell them to try watching some Aussie football. It's got a lot in common with soccer. It has a large field of play, the average player runs several miles in the course of the game and there are few breaks in the action. Take this opportunity to point out the advantages that the AFL has over soccer. These include, but are not limited to: games being stuck at a 0-0 tie for usually less than 3 minutes as opposed to 90 and overtime, people who attempt to flop and dive are laughed at and the game doesn't stop anyway, their uniforms aren't trying to sell you insurance cell phones or stereos.
Thank you for your time and we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
Do you or someone you know like soccer?
You may be asking yourself "what can I do to stop this?"or "why did this happen to me?". Well, ask no longer. We are here to help.
Your first line of defense should be to suggest a better activity. If the person is dead set on the level of excitement that soccer provides you can suggest other things to do that are just as exciting. Perhaps check the comedy channel. If you're lucky Rita Rudner will be doing stand up. If someone who is actually interesting is on worry not. Check your local neighborhood area. If you're lucky there may be some paint drying that they could watch.
If said person is determined to watch sports you should attempt to make them watch something better, such as football. If they aren't happy with the level of strategy and thought that goes into a game of football you should suggest to them that they watch basketball instead. Sure, NBA isn't much better, but at least people score points in basketball.
They may complain to you that the court is too small. If this happens tell them to try watching some Aussie football. It's got a lot in common with soccer. It has a large field of play, the average player runs several miles in the course of the game and there are few breaks in the action. Take this opportunity to point out the advantages that the AFL has over soccer. These include, but are not limited to: games being stuck at a 0-0 tie for usually less than 3 minutes as opposed to 90 and overtime, people who attempt to flop and dive are laughed at and the game doesn't stop anyway, their uniforms aren't trying to sell you insurance cell phones or stereos.
Thank you for your time and we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Hi I'm Ian Manniong ev'rone says I'm the best quarterback, but ev'rone else says mah brother Peyton is
God damnit you Gnats. Quit this scoring touchdowns shit. I want you assbutts to lose.
Speaking of assbutts, I'd like to post my list of unused/underused insults now.
#1: Assbutt
#2: Knob washer
#3: Knob goblin
#4 Cock jockey
#5: Bitch face
#6: Fuck stick
#7: Dick monger
#8: Cock snot
That's the list. Hope you enjoyed it.
Speaking of assbutts, I'd like to post my list of unused/underused insults now.
#1: Assbutt
#2: Knob washer
#3: Knob goblin
#4 Cock jockey
#5: Bitch face
#6: Fuck stick
#7: Dick monger
#8: Cock snot
That's the list. Hope you enjoyed it.
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