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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Corporate shill time once again

Preface: No really,  no one is paying me to say this shit:

I've been trying to lose some weight for a while now and I really don't know how it's going. The first five pounds was easy, but the next 50, that's being a problem. I'll never meet my goal however if I keep going to D'angelo's for grinders. (For those of you not in western New England I'm taking about subs, hoagies, heroes and other large sandwiches.) Just looking over the website tells me that quite a few of their sandwiches fulfill one's daily requirement of several different things at once. And one of their sandwiches, I can't recall which one, gives you more than 200% of your daily intake of sodium.Yowza!

Now you'd think that just reading that would make a person run the other direction, but here's the thing. They've got this one sandwich called the Thanksgiving Toasted. It is exactly what you expect it to be. Open the fridge the day after thanksgiving, reach in and slap a bunch of the shit you find onto a toasted grinder roll (I choose wheat, how health conscious of me) then add two little cups full of warm gravy and devour.

Check out this tasty mofo!

Does this not look like an awesome sandwich? It's got everything you need in a sandwich. Mayo, turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and a side of gravy. Now the picture here shows the gravy already on the sandwich, but that's just a suggestion and if you ask me it's the wrong one. Don't dump your gravy willy nilly. What you've got to do is open the container and just dip the sandwich in as you go.The gravy stays warmer longer and every bite you take is freshly prepared with its gravy. By the time you get to the end of the sandwich you won't be left with soggy gravy bread. Not that this particular point matters all the much. Trust me, the sandwich won't last long enough for it to even think about getting soggy.

And this is why I will never lose all the weight I intend to lose. Why does everything that's good have to be fattening. And why does everything that's good for me have to taste like cardboard by comparison?

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