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Saturday, November 6, 2010

Adventures in two wheel drive

So I finally went down to pick up my tires for my car today. I borrowed my nephew's pickup truck to do it and I almost wish I hadn't. It was a downright scary experience if I do say so. I had quite a drive to make. It was right around 80 miles to central Connecticut. Connecticut, by the way, is in a perpetual state of construction. Just letting you know in case you ever need to go there.

The first thing I noticed about driving the truck was that the light half bed he has on it doesn't do much for traction and for the first time in quite a while I experienced wheel spin. For the past two years I've been bouncing back and forth between my AWD car and a motorcycle with a 70cc engine, so the very idea of wheel spin is just right out. Not so with this truck. Even though it has very little in the balls department it's got no problem whatsoever in jumping sideways around a corner or sitting there going nowhere as the revs go up (and as the speedo says so are the Ms per H) but I can swear that tree over there on the side of the road isn't getting any farther away. I make a note of this and try taking it easier on takeoff.

His truck also has this funny thing I call shit for brakes. He didn't warn me of this, but I guess I should have guessed from the fact that th brake light was on. They've got this really weird habit of doing nothing then nothing them more nothing as you press the pedal down. Gradually the brakes will start to work a bit. After a while though you hit a magical point at which the brakes seeming just lock right up. I didn't really know about that magical point though till I was on the highway doing about 65-70 when all of a sudden BOOM traffic jam. I start to hit the bakes with some urgency and ohh boy all of a sudden I'm slipping all over the lane, but luckily I managed to get the truck back under control before rear ending the guy in front of me. Not by much mind you, but I did it.

The traffic jam I hit was caused by either the fact that I84 was shut down for a few exits worth of road or a crash, I'm not really sure which. I passed by a car wreck as I jumped to the right hand lane to get the fuck off of the highway, but there was still traffic beyond the crash so I'm pretty sure that wasn't the cause. So here I was off the highway because the signs said I84 closed for however the fuck many exits it was closed for seek alternate route. Well damn, if I hadn't gotten my directions off of mapquest maybe I'd know how the hell to get around this. I actually did surprisingly well in finding that alternate route though. After cruising through Plainfield (or was it Plainville? I don't know) and Bristol (Hey look ESPN headquarters, I should drop in and tell them to stfu about Favre) I managed to hop back onto the highway beyond the part that is under such heavy construction that they shut it down. Naturally a few miles down the road I hit another traffic jam. 1 hour and 34 minute trip my ass.

Not too long after I finally get off all of the highways and as I approach my destination (after making a few wrong turns of course) I come to the realization that there are indeed some farms in CT. I always just assumed the whole state was just a suburb of NYC the same way that everyone else assumes that the rest of New England is a suburb of Boston. In no time at all I get to where I'm going. Success! The guy isn't there, but in the email he said the tires were in the driveway so I assume he meant to just grab them and go. I load up my tires and head back toward Mass with much fewer incidents of missing highway or possible death due to traffic jam/brake suckage mishaps. I did though see a person who might just be the unluckiest person on the highway that day. He was driving a nice blue-greenish two door car. It looked like a Honda maybe. But the driver side door was red. Clearly he had been in a collision recently and just hadn't gotten around to repainting his new door. That's probably a good thing though, because the place I saw said car was on the side of the road. And that shiny red door? Ohh it was crushed right the hell in. That poor bastard probably just got that door a week ago and already he's got to buy another one.

I was planning on getting the tires mounted today, but I got to the tire shop and the guy there tells me that their air compressor shit the bed and that after they get it fixed they were going to be playing catch up for the rest of the day and they can get to my tires on Monday. Eh, whatever. I'm in no major rush.

My mission complete I did what anyone in my position would do. I grabbed some Taco Bell and returned the truck to my nephew (along with a Nachos Bellgrande). Volcano tacos rule!


  1. Nothing worse than the feeling when the car starts to slide out from under you! It's happened to me a few times on wet roads but thankfully I have a heavy ass car that saves me from doing stupid shit haha

  2. Everything can be solved with tacos!

  3. Seems like a good trip, sounds like fun.

  4. To me that wouldn't have been worth it! Glad you made it okay, though. They taste horrible and they're not even hot. I'm sure it's different for people who eat it with the meat. But still...

  5. Adventure is right. Good to hear you avoided the crash despite all the accidents around you.

  6. Love your stuff man. I have heard such tales of woe about Connecticut before :)

  7. I used to live in Bridgeport yea I know about the construction....