Yet another stupid thought.

So a new idea popped into my head recently. What if Microsoft had been run by the open source development guys right around 1990 or so? They already had their DOS operating system and it was rather successful so they decided to stick on a Graphical User Interface. Being open source type guys they would naturally have very little imagination when it came time to name their product so now way in hell would they have called it windows. They would have been like, "Well, it's just DOS with a GUI. We'll call it GUIDOS."

And GUIDOS would have been released to much criticism as any microsoft product is so they'd have given it add ons to make people want to buy it. They'd deck Clippy out in a wife beater, track pants and a few pounds of gold chain. Instead of the trash can you'd have Tony's waste management and the search box would have you click a button saying "find this shit, eh?" When the computer throws up a blue screen or other error, instead of actually telling you what went wrong or giving any info at all it'd just say "It's a Jersey thing". And of course the start up and shut down sounds would be club music samples.

For the record, yes, I did just watch the South Park episode in which Jersey takes over most of the US.

Stupid and/or annoying people

Ok, so I've already made up a list of people I can do without. This one here is something similar. It's a collection of people who are stupid or annoying. Not necessarily people the world should do away with, but still wastes of skin nonetheless.

First up on the chopping block are people who think the moon landing was faked. Why do they find it so hard to believe that we've been to the moon yet they don't think twice about using their GPS enabled phone to help them find the nearest gas station using handy satellite photos or watch a show beamed down to them from space? Is it because this shit took place in the 60s? I bet that's it. They think no one in the 60s could do anything but get stoned and sing about things that turn turn turn (that being everything, I guess). Well, if we've got the technology now why don't you think we've done it? Yeah, it's because we already did. Ohh and we're about to do it again in the next decade or so. Will they still argue when they're watching live feeds from the moon on the news? Then again something tells me these people won't be watching the news at all.

And I'd like to point out one of the most alarming and ironic facts about these people is that the majority of them seem to be Americans. We're the ones who actually did it and yet we're the last to believe it? Whatever.

Next up: people who think Mount Rushmore is a natural occurrence. Where do I even start with this one? First off there are actual documentaries about this shown regularly on TV. I've seen one on the History channel at least once or twice. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe they don't watch anything that could be remotely educational. Even if that's the case lets talk about statistics here. If by some miracle four faces of naturally sprout from a mountain what are the chances that all four of them be popular American presidents? Why the hell not slip in Millard Filmore Or James Buchanan? Or going outside of American politics why not slip in Hitler or a freakin' pope or two? How about just some ordinary guy like Jim in accounting?

And speaking of Jim in accounting, what a douchebag he is! Actually I don't even know anyone named Jim in accounting, but I think that tacking "in accounting" onto the end of anyone's name will make them a pain in the ass or at the very least less liked.

Lastly we have sports news casters and writers who suck Brett Favre's dick. You guys are idiots. There are literally hundreds of other players in the NFL, many of them much more deserving of your attention. Why do you insist on shoving Favre down our throats as far as you have his schlong shoved down yours? No one gives a fuck about his personal life (although I admit it's nice to see that Jets babe's titties in the news every now and then) and the only time we'll care about his streak is when it finally ends. Quit taking about him till he breaks several bones and we KNOW he won't start the next game. Hopefully that'll happen this weekend. Go Pats!

Well, it happened again

And this time it's all my fault. I had a wonderful idea for a blog post and I was even here sitting at my PC at the time and I said to myself "Yes, I will blog about that later. And surely I won't forget what it is I was going to blog about." But then I did just that. All I had to do was click that little button down there to show the desktop, open up my little .txt that sits on my desktop that I try to keep blog ideas in and type out a sentence and I'd have it.

I didn't do that though, so instead you're getting what amounts to a rerun. It's that I had something to post about and I didn't episode all over again. Feel free to switch channels. I probably would if I were you.

Wait, what, you're still here? Well, ok then. Umm, so I want to kill my DVR. It's got this funny habit of switching off for no reason and because of that it only recorded 18 minutes of that new show American Restoration which I was looking forward to watching. No big deal, it's the history channel. It'll be on again soon. Unfortunately the earliest I've managed to find it is Saturday, so unless it pops up in on demand that's when I'll be watching it.

Ok, people, nothing to see here. I'll be back again tomorrow and hopefully by then I will have remembered what I was going to post about this time but forgot. I have a feeling it was either about gaming or music. Probably gaming.

What kind of name is that?

Ok, I really don't have too much of a leg to stand on with this mini-rant considering the fact that I drive a 3000GT, but what ever happened to cars having actual names? It used to be that people drove around in their Firebirds and their Novas and if they were really lucky their Corvettes or their Vipers, but these days everyone owns a CTS or an A8 or maybe a 328i or an SLS AMG F1 (there's a fucking mouthful). Jesus fucking christ, are we getting cryptic enough with our car names yet? I'm not entirely sure BMW has ever produced a car with an actual name.

I mean sure the Dodge Omni is a pretty lame name as well as the Kia Sephia (or any name Kia has come up with, really), but at least when someone tells you they own an Omni you can sort of picture what sort of car it might be and/or what sort of attitude the car is supposed to project from the name alone. When someone tells you they just bought a brand new Mustang you know damned well that bitch is going to get driven hard. And if someone else were to tell you they just bought themselves a used Subaru Legacy you're going to be like, ok enjoy your mellow all wheel drive conveyance and don't let those snow drifts scare you, they're your bitch. But what sort of image do you conjure up when someone tells you they just bought an A6, or a 730 or an SL2? I'm sort of drawing a blank here and you probably are as well.

Now I'm not bashing these cars mind you. I'd love to own an Audi and the legendary AWD drive train that comes with it, but the name it just uninspiring. If I ever find myself in the position of CEO of Audi I'll be putting a quick stop to this shit I tell ya. People won't be driving around their A8 anymore, they'll be cruising around in their Bonerwagon and maybe I'll call the A6 the Sisterfister. Give it some much needed attitude ya know.

Well, hope you enjoyed the rant. I feel better now.

(P.S. I think this is the blog post I forgot about the other day. The thought seems familiar. So now I don't have to keep wondering what that idea was.)

People I can do without

I present for your consideration a list of people I feel the world would be perfectly well off without.

1: Yankees fans
These guys are like the certificate of participation of the sports fan world. Ok, I'm here, where's my ring? surely the fact that I've managed to get to the stadium without being mugged, raped stabbed or just plain getting lost means I've won the series, right? And so damned many of them are just bandwagoners. I knew a guy who was a Yankees fan, a Cowboys fan and a Lakers fan. Gee, front running much? Well, not this year with the Cowgirls at least.

2: People who can't figure out how to drive stick
I'm gonna let you in on a secret here, pal, that thing you're doing in your car. That's not driving. Driving requires at the very least the higher brain function required to know when to go from second to third. All you're doing is pointing a large lumbering projectile as the rest of the world hopes you at least don't mow down too many little old ladies and children. And please, get the fuck off the cell phone while you do it. The only thing that should be in the hand not holding onto the wheel is a god damned gear shifter or maybe, MAYBE a bottle of soda.

3: Militant anti carnivore vegetarians/vegans
Ok, I get it, you don't eat meat, possibly for health reasons, possibly for environmental reasons or maybe for some other reason. It's wonderful that you don't eat meat because you're not going to be the guy who buys the last bucket of the Colonel's specialty at the Kentucky Fried Taco Hut just before I get to the front of the line. But if you're going to give me shit about it, well, take it elsewhere pal. Last I checked this was a freeish country. If a guy can't enjoy a steak without a rant from some holier than thou preacher well, that guy might just have to go postal on you.

(You non militants though, you're OK in my book.)

4: Obnoxious wide receivers who have their own reality shows
When the fuck did the wide receiver become the superstar of the football team? You're on a team damnit, it's a team effort just getting to the point where the ball is in the air in your general direction and you're going to tell me that without you nothing would ever happen? And on top of that you're going to dress like a retard and act like a jackass? And people are going to pay you assloads of money to do all of this in front of a camera for VH1? Well fuck, it looks like I'm not going to be watching VH1 any time soon. And can someone tell me what the fuck the day to day like of a guy who catches a damned football has to do with music? Why the fuck is this shit on VH1 yet no one is doing a show about, I dunno, a band touring the nation? That douche from Motley Crue does Rock of Love and there isn't a damned show following someone around when they're actually MAKING MUSIC? Man, this country is fucked.

Well alright I had a bit of fun there ranting, but rant mode off for now. I just wanted to say hey look, I;m getting close to 200 followers and that's pretty cool. I didn't even realize it when I hit 100, so I wanna make something of it when I do cross 200. Catch ya later bloggyville.

Jesus fucking christ I hate Peggy Hill

Like the subject line says, I can't fucking stand Peggy Hill. everything about her pisses me off so damned much. As far as I'm concerned she's the most annoying cartoon character I can think of. Yes, even more annoying than Master Shake, Herbert that pedophile who wants Chris Griffin's ass and every single one of the characters from Squidbillies (except for Dan Halen, he's kinda cool).

Like I said I hate everything about her, but the thing I hate the most is her own sense of self worth. She's the sort of person who actually believes her shit doesn't stink. So you're ok at playing boggle, WTF does that even matter for? And if you only knew how horrible you were at speaking Spanish you'd kill yourself, so I really hope you find out how bad you are at speaking Spanish.

I'd say I wish she'd jump out of an airplane without a parachute, but she already did effectively the same thing and fucking lived. Bitch need to get blown the fuck up, that's for damn sure. Maybe someone could bludgeon her to death with one of her substitute teacher of the year awards.